If You're Not Working Together, You're Working Apart

Tragedy has struck;
Your life is scattered;
Your heart is torn;
There are no answers, so nothing makes sense anymore.

Communication seems lost;
You have no idea what to tell yourself,
You have no idea how to console yourself,
You have no idea how you're going to survive this, manage, cope, breathe.

Stuck in the shadows,
Suffocating in your grief,
As 'Blame' and 'Guilt' play tug of war on your logic,
and on your heart.

Its hard to see through this fog of emptiness.

How on Earth can I be there for someone else, when I am drowning myself?

The domino effect after, especially infant loss, can bear great weight on whether a relationship, irregardless of the nature of said relationship, will stand or fall.

The inability to cope together can, in most cases, be the deciding factor.

It is important to remember that everyone deals with grief in different ways, if we're 'dealing' with it at all. 

Acknowledging that you must cope together, is the first step in doing the same.  Saying outloud to one another that we need to work through this together, is an oral contract agreeing that this tragedy will not ultimately tear us apart.

Sometimes, for me, I needed a shoulder and no words.  Sometimes, there is just nothing to say.  At these moments, communication is not lost; silent communcation is needed.  Hold each other.  Allow tears to flow.  There is no shame in feeling sorrow. 

Outside support is key.  Embrace outside support together, as one. 

Never blame one another for this death.  Anger is a huge part of the grieving process.  However, I believe, the blame-game can often lead to irrepairable damage.  We all say things when we're angry, but blaming one another when often times we already blame ourselves, is below the belt and wrong. 

Coping together and trying to understand one another is key in any relationship you may have.


"When I am strong, I will carry you; when I am weak, please carry me."